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  • For Men Only— 5 Tips to Set Your Wife Up for a Great Holiday

    We are almost to Christmas and man has it been busy. Between work and family, it hasn’t left much time to relax. Sometimes, that means that patience is starting to wain. You may be thinking, you just want it over with so life can get back to normal. You maybe tempted to shut down or withdraw into yourself until it all passes.

    Holidays are a time that can either build up or tear down marriages. Some people have high expectations and some don’t, but for those that have high expectations, it can accompany a lot of hurt when little to no effort is made by husbands.

    It is also a time of year, where wives tend to carry a lot of mental burden. It can be very overwhelming to be responsible for gifts for immediate family, extended family and friends. If you have children, there is the balance of making sure the number of gifts is fairly equal. There is the budget to consider and trying to get the best deals. There is all kinds of things to remember such as kid’s activities, church events, work events and family events. It is often up to the wife to do a lot of the planning.

    So what do you do? You don’t want to screw it up so here are five tips you may want to consider. And if you pay close attention to these tips, you may find yourself enjoying the holidays more, yourself. Studies have shown that doing acts of kindness bring about one of the most reliable increases in mood. So be kind to your wife!

    Tip One: Get her a present. 

    This seems obvious, therefore some will skip over it. Some people are easier to buy for than others. If your gifts regularly go unused or are taken back, it is easy to want to give up. I get that. You may feel your gifts never hit the mark. My best advice is listen to her and what seems important to her. She may be dropping hints. Ask others close to her if they have any ideas. 

    The biggest fail is doing nothing. The second biggest fail is something I did one year for my wife’s birthday. I got her an ACE Hardware gift card the day of her birthday. She was very kind. She kept the card and gave me a do over. I probably spent 3-4 times more on the do over than I did on the gift card, but she was happy with my gift. 

    Just do something thoughtful. All you can do is your best. If you do stockings, buy her some stocking stuffers. Don’t leave it up to her to buy her own.

    Tip Two: Be patient.

    Stress can get high this time of year. Traffic gets heavier. Life gets busier. Sometimes we have inclement weather. Some of us travel the day before, day of, or day after the holiday. Sometimes, we get started late. The kids can get crazy on car rides. On Christmas morning, they may wake up super early. It is easy to get overtired and impatient.

    So, what do you do. You may need to do some extra deep breathing. You may also need to bite your tongue. Let the unimportant slide by and focus on making it a great holiday time for your wife and family.

    Tip Three: Be engaged.

    Make it a fun time for your wife and family. Be giving. Be energetic. Wrestle up your energy for bursts of time. If you are at your in-laws, talk to them. Don’t sit the whole time in a corner on your phone. Promote conversation and laughter. If you have children, play with them. Help out in the kitchen.

    Tip Four: Care for her.

    Even the strongest, most independent women want their husbands to care for them and sometimes pamper them. After all, often they take care of people on their job, take care of the children, take care of the house and take care of you. I often hear wives say that they wish there was someone, sometimes who would take care of them. This is a good opportunity to step it up. 

    Ease their mental and physical burden. Don’t wait to be asked to help. Initiate.

    Tip Five: Stand up for her.

    This is very important, because I often hear from wives that years of resentment have built up over husbands who do not stand up for them when their family members ignore or mistreat them in some way. 

    Stand up for her rest and enjoyment. You may need to set boundaries with how much time you spend with extended family in order to enjoy each other more. 

    Hopefully, these tips will help and you enjoy a great holiday together.