For Men Only: 3 Tips For Building A Great Home
What type of home are you building for your wife and family?
I say home, because you can build a beautiful house and yet have a home life in need of massive repair.
No matter how strong and independent your wife may be, she wants you to step up and be an equal partner with building a great home. Don’t leave it all to her.
Do you want to build a home that will lead to your wife and kids thriving? I believe you want to, but are you? Is your wife thriving in your marriage? Are your kids thriving because of your marriage or are you trying to protect them from your marriage?
My dad died a few months back at the age of 96. He was a builder. When I was in first grade, he built a treehouse. When I was in grade school, he built pole vaulting standards. When I was in junior high, he built an apparatus to simulate pitching and to help improve my batting. In high school, he helped build 3 ball fields I played on in high school and beyond. As an adult, he refinished an antique that had been owned by his father. He was a builder!
I lack the talent, skills and patience to do construction. Fortunately, building a great home—a great life for your family-doesn’t require construction skills. I would be lost if it did.
There are other ways to build. Here are 3 Tips to Building a Great Home.
Tip #1: Build safety.
My dad was a protector.
When a bus driver threatened to kick me off the bus, because I had mud on my shoes; he got in his car and drove to the bus driver’s house to confront him. He was very angry. Fortunately, he got a speeding ticket on the way to the driver’s house and gave up and went home. That was the last time I ever rode that driver’s bus.
When two older bullies were threatening me, he went to their parents’ houses to let them know the bullying needed to stop. He held the parents responsible, and the bullying ceased.
Being a protector isn’t always about physical protection.
No matter how strong and accomplished your wife may be, does she feel emotionally safe with you. She needs to feel she can be vulnerable. When she reaches out, she needs to know you will be there for her.
Will you stand up for her to other people? Will you stand up for her with your parents? With your children?
You need to have her back in every way.
When she is exhausted from work and the kids, be there to help and support her.
Build safety. Be a protector.
When you do that, you are teaching your kids how to treat people. You are most of all teaching them how to treat their future spouse and children.
Tip #2: Build memories.
Growing up, we only went on one vacation that involved more than one night away. For the rest of my life, I will never forget that vacation. I also have memories from short trips to St. Louis. To me, St. Louis was a magical place. I loved our times there.
My wife and I have so many memories of great trips with each other and the kids. But memories are more than vacations. Memories are of getting along with each other, having fun, laughing and growing together as a marriage and family.
We had family nights on Monday nights with our kids. Now, we have Monday family nights with our kids, their spouses and our grandchildren. Traditions can form great memories.
Not all memories are pleasant. The times that have built my marriage are often the tough times we have grown through together. You know, those tragedies that life hands us all too often.
Tip #3: Build love.
Some of my strongest memories of my dad, are those involving how he much he took care of my mom when she had advanced Parkinson’s. He modeled for me dedication and loyalty. He modeled digging deep when things got tough.
The sacrifices he made for my mom were rooted in the strength of their love and commitment. They were rooted in the home they built together. My parents would disagree, but I never heard either of them ever say anything disrespectful. I never worried they might divorce. I could count on a stable home life.
My wife and I have been through a lot. I was 19 and she was 18 when we started dating. Now, we have been married 41 years. That means we have literally grown up together. I love her like no other. We are a team. She is the first person I want to share good news with and the first I want to share bad as well.
She is my life. All my dreams and aspirations include her. We make each other’s dreams come true.
You too can build a great home for your marriage and family.
So, what can you do right now?
You need to assess the type of home you live in. No one’s is perfect. Don’t get down. Get serious. If your home life is a mess, just admit it and get help. Lot’s of people need help. It doesn’t mean you failed. It means you are human.
Failure is knowing you need to do something and refusing to do it.
Don’t wait to get help.
Call me at 217-637-0229 or email me at [email protected].
The easiest way to set up an appointment is to go to my website at www.rcochran.com and use my online scheduler. Just click on the date and time, you wish to meet, and you are good to go.