Considering counseling can bring up all kinds of questions. Here are some of the most common questions. I hope my answers help you make a decision about starting counseling with me.
What if I want couples counseling and my partner doesn’t?
Then please come see me and let’s work together for a better you and a better marriage. In fact, I have helped many couples with only one spouse pursuing counseling. As one partner seeks help and make changes, the relationship improves—especially if the changes benefit both people. Subsequently, the other spouse is often more open to engage in change.
As a marriage therapist, are you going to tell me something I don’t want to do?
I am not going to tell you to do anything that flies in the face of your beliefs and values. I am not going to tell you to stay together nor am I going to tell you to divorce. What I am going to do, is use my training, experience and expertise to fight for your marriage and family. I will help you understand what is not working and help you acquire the skills to have the relationship you’ve always desired.
Why go to counseling? Shouldn’t we be able to fix our marriage by ourselves?
If one of you is talking about counseling, you have more than likely been unsuccessful fixing your relationship on your own. Counseling is an investment of time, money and effort, but I guarantee that it is much preferable to the pain and damage that result from a lousy marriage. I am amazed with how often I am contacted by a spouse whose marriage is on the brink of divorce and the other spouse—the one talking about divorce tells me that she has been asking for couples counseling for years. Don’t wait until the threat of divorce to seek counseling. I have helped many couples in that state, but the earlier you seek help the better your chances of saving your marriage.
As a therapist, are you going to take my partner’s side?
My job is to advocate for your marriage and family. I want what you want. To reach your goal for a great marriage, it will require both of you to take responsibility for the current state of your relationship and it will require both of you to make changes. If you feel that I am unfairly taking a side, it is important to speak up. Remember, the goal isn’t to change the other person. The goal is to change the marriage.
Can you guarantee that we won’t get divorced?
No one can ethically make that promise. Some couples come see me because they are drifting from each other or they argue too much. There is no question in their minds about whether they will stay together. They just need their marriage to get back on track. Others, come see me and one or the other spouse is on the brink of giving up. After our first session, I’ll have a better idea as to how much work it is going to take to save your marriage. I can promise that I will fight for your marriage and I have been very successful helping couples. While I can’t make any guarantees as to the outcome, I can tell you that clients who show up committed to the process achieve a great deal of success in their personal life and relationships.
Do you offer online counseling?
Yes I do. I started using online counseling at the beginning of the pandemic, and though I wasn’t sure how I would feel about it, I have found that I really like it. I really enjoy the idea that it allows me to connect from my computer to your couch. It allows me to see anyone in Illinois, and it saves you the commute to my office. I use a telehealth platform called, “Simple Practice” which is HIPAA compliant. That means our sessions are private. When you set up an appointment, just message me that you would like to have our session(s) online.
What do you charge for counseling?
I am a highly trained, seasoned marriage counselor who specializes in helping relationships. My rate is $200 for a 50-minute session. I charge $300 for an 80 minute session if you want to book a longer time.
What happens in the first session?
Great question. When you arrive, I will welcome you at the front door. We will take a moment to see if you would like something to drink and then we will sit in comfortable chairs in front of a fireplace.
During our time together, I will help you share your story and articulate why you are seeking help. My goal for the first session is to discover the target that must be addressed in order to grow your marriage. To do that, I need to understand what you are feeling and what you need in order to feel happier in your relationship. Therefore, I will find out what is working in order to build on your strengths. I will also find out what isn’t working. This information will lead to the three of us forming a plan and attacking the plan in subsequent sessions.
What if I have more questions?
How do I get started?
The quickest and easiest way to proceed is to scroll down to my “Online Scheduler”. Then, just click on the day and time you would like to meet. You’ll get a confirmation email and later I will send you information regarding our first session. If you prefer, you can call me at 217-637-0229 or email me at [email protected] to set up an appointment.