Don’t Miss Your Moment To Save Your Marriage!
“Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.” (Keri Russell)
Sometimes we miss our moment.
I failed to make, what in retrospect, was a small decision and it changed my life forever.
A blood test showed an issue with my kidneys. To what degree, I didn’t know. Was it even an issue to be concerned about? My wife thought it was, so I set up an appointment with a nephrologist.
The specialist talked about the results of my lab tests and told me there was an issue, but at that point, it wasn’t too serious. She told me that I should see her in six months and we would review updated lab tests and monitor my kidney function. She said that I might be ok or at some point, I might need a biopsy.
I felt fine during the next 6 months. Out of sight, out of mind, so I canceled the appointment. The truth was that I didn’t want to face the possibility of a biopsy. It scared me. Therefore, I rationalized that I felt ok; and I told myself, my doctor as good as told me I was ok.
Two years later, I was lying in a hospital bed, and two doctors I had never met before, walked into my room. The nephrologist I had ignored, had hospitalized me after scolding me for canceling my appointment and allowing things to get much worse.
The two doctors who stood before my bed talked about my upcoming biopsy. As it happened, that was the first of two biopsies I had over the next year. They shared with me that I might be facing cancer, the need for ongoing kidney dialysis or a kidney transplant.
Had I kept my appointment two years prior to lying in the hospital, my kidneys could have been helped sooner and not had as much damage. I missed my moment by not making what would have been in retrospect a little decision even had it meant getting a biopsy.
When your wife says she wants to go to marriage counseling, it doesn’t feel like a small decision to you. It probably feels big. After all, most people don’t have marriage counseling on their top 10 list.
You brush her off or tell her you can handle your issues yourselves.
Fast forward a few years, and your wife has had an affair or has told you she wants a divorce. Now, like my kidney function, everything is much worse; and like my kidney issues, the prognosis for your marriage is also much worse.
In retrospect, the earlier decision to go to counseling seems so small compared to going now when your marriage has totally tanked. The marriage biopsy you feared when you avoided counseling is nothing compared to what you are going through now.
We all have those moments when we get an urge to work on our marriage—when we get an urge to get help. Sometimes our spouse is urging us. She gives in to you when you don’t want to go to counseling. She hopes things will get better on their own. Later, she hates herself for not standing her ground, and hates you for not capturing the moment.
If you believe, your marriage needs help. Go with your gut and stand your ground. If you have felt an urge or have been urged toward counseling, the best time and easiest time to get help is while you are still somewhat good with each other.
Don’t wait until you are desperate. Make the decision that will change your life forever.
For you to be reading this, your moment is now!
Don’t miss your moment!
Stand up for your urge to seek help. Don’t back down.
If you are being urged to get help, don’t miss your moment to save your marriage.
Get help now!